life buildingself-development

You are not your labels

Yep. I believe in it deeply. And we have got so used to it, that we don’t even think about it. We are not bad people but sometimes do bad things. We are not lazy, but sometimes we let things for another moment. We are not silly, we sometimes don’t understand things at the first time. Or we need some more explanations. Or someone who is better skilled to explain that to us. Have you ever thought about it?

Creating labels is easy. And really convenient. Because it helps us to save our energy. Just think about it: you put a label on someone and forget the rest. You don’t have to think about how to treat him/her every time you both meet. Because you set your useful label. And once you set your label, you just have to treat them that way. Automatically. Without more thinking. Without spending more energy and effort.

And yes, my friend, that’s how people treat you too. They claim to be efficient doing that. For me, it’s not about being efficient or not, it’s about not being very human. But I guess that’s a matter of who is speaking about it…

And in the end, the problem with labels is not that people set them and put them to us: it’s that you adopt them. And it happens when you believe in them. Even though at first you don’t think that they are true, or fair to you. But sometimes you think that the other people are better/more skilled/wiser or whatever. And then you conclude that they must be true, and the label has to be it, too. And when you get to this point, you begin to adopt the behaviors of your label. And then, it becomes a self-fulfilled prophecy: you finally become what people told you that you were (even if you weren’t before). But you believed in them and didn’t believe in you. And that’s how it began.

Living in this world, you’ll have “enjoyed” labels for a long time. Many of them come and go. Many of them stay with you for a long time. Many of them just stay with you for a while, until someone decides to change them for a different one. Because it happens. People set a new label without thinking very much about it: they just do it. Maybe you meet someone in a day when things didn’t work really well for you. Maybe you didn’t speak very much. Maybe you weren’t in the mood to spend a long time with that person and you excused yourself for leaving early. And maybe, that person decided to set a new label for you: rude, unpolite, boring, or any other one.

There’s a basic principle in life: even though you would like it, you can’t change anyone but you. It means that the only thing that you can do is not setting labels. People will go on doing it. Or maybe they’ll know you better, know that you don’t set labels, and decide to do the same. Or maybe not. But it’s not your responsibility. Your responsibility is creating your dream life and enjoying it. And if you want an authentic one, believe me, don’t set labels. Just live every moment and treat people as they are in every moment.